‘Oh my!’ I swear if I hear that one more time… In the name of ‘research’ I’m wading my way through ’50 shades of grey’ to understand firstly what all the fuss is about; to try to form an objective opinion and of course study her writing style etc etc. Did that sound convincing? I have to admit that I nearly gave up on a number of occasions as I was on the verge of throwing the book out of the window in a fit of rage: I mean, is it really necessary to exclaim, ‘Oh my’ or ‘Holy crap’ every time she sees Mr Grey’s magnificent and erect manhood? Which is, let’s face it, quite frequently as you can imagine. So far, I can honestly say, I don’t get it- Yes, I get that but not it; the ‘IT’ being the fuss, the controversy, the excitement, the HUGE success! Let me explain… During my brief time back in the UK a short time ago (Caring for my Nan with mixed dementia-strange time to be inspired I know!) I had a sudden and unexpected burst of creativity and so began work on my next novel (In all honesty I first began work on this particular piece well over a year ago but now the time is right to continue.) I’ve mentioned before that I had previously tried my hand -no pun intended- at the ‘Erotica’ genre whilst doing a writing course a few years ago: Believe it or not it is in fact a difficult genre to do well; that is, create a good story line, strong characters and something other than the obvious ‘carnal’ activity going on but I intend to give it a go and continue what I started. The current storm of controversy surrounding the success of ’50 shades of grey’ has shocked and surprised me quite honestly (do excuse my naivety all you ‘marketing experts’) I mean let’s face it-the genre is nothing new-but has the fantastic marketing behind this trilogy thrust it (‘Oh my!’) into the mainstream from what would have been part of a relatively underground genre: ‘Mummy porn’ I’ve heard it described as…eek! I mean what is that all about? A distasteful and condescending term if I ever heard one: Bored, dissatisfied housewives needing to fill their mundane existence with something thrilling and naughty? Or is it meant to be a defiant ‘fingers up’ at men and their mainstream ‘girlie’ mags-something for the ladies to openly read and not be, erm, ashamed of? Wait, I’m on a roll here; defiance in the face of a penis -Holy Crap!-obsessed male dominated world! At this point you are probably clearing your throat and about to politely point out that a story about S&M-bondage-a submissive female sex slave, blah blah blah is probably not the way to prove that level of defiance. Oh boy-talk about opening up a can of worms-this is going to throw open the doors to a massively complex debate which will bring us back to what is ultimately the oldest and most hotly debated topic the globe over-SEX - male/female relationships-respect-subordination…the list is endless: Or is it even worth discussing? Is ‘50 shades’ just a reasonably good story-spiced up to the limit-excellent marketing and a female audience ripe for a bit of raunchiness? When I began writing this article I was two thirds of the way through the book; last night I finished it and sat back with a sigh…okay, I’ve done it-now what? Do I read up on all the other millions of reviews over the World Wide Web or do I just draw my own conclusions and remain blissfully unaware as to what the rest of the world has to say? Does it even matter what anyone else has to say? Probably not: She has sold millions-there is a film in the making-she must be ecstatic-her publisher undoubtedly is-so what can I say? Literature is purely subjective-what is one man’s/woman’s treasure is another’s trash basically.The book has its moments, I couldn’t help wondering what was going to happen in the end-but was a trilogy really necessary for such a story? Probably not-just a few more sexual positions they hadn’t tried out in the first part (meow!) come on…a little cattiness is allowed ;) On a more serious note-the whole sex slave-female submissive concern: Ok, Miss Anastasia Steele kind of gets on ones nerves a little after a while, but in all fairness to the author she doesn’t come across as a completely pathetic individual for allowing herself to be whipped into submission by the stunningly beautiful and rich Mr Grey; some, ok very little, brain matter is present. He in turn comes from some fucked up beginnings, is damaged goods, which explains his inability to allow himself to be’ loved’ in a normal fashion and allow anyone to get too close both physically and emotionally. That’s it guys-that is as in depth as I’m prepared to go: love it, hate it-my feeling is one of ambivalence; I have more important things on my mind, like how to get a million people to read my novel! Nipple clamps anyone?