50 shades of...Holy crap!

‘Oh my!’ I swear if I hear that one more time… In the name of ‘research’ I’m wading my way through ’50 shades of grey’ to understand firstly what all the fuss is about; to try to form an objective opinion and of course study her writing style etc etc. Did that sound convincing? I have to admit that I nearly gave up on a number of occasions as I was on the verge of throwing the book out of the window in a fit of rage: I mean, is it really necessary to exclaim, ‘Oh my’ or ‘Holy crap’ every time she sees Mr Grey’s magnificent and erect manhood? Which is, let’s face it, quite frequently as you can imagine. So far, I can honestly say, I don’t get it- Yes, I get that but not it; the ‘IT’ being the fuss, the controversy, the excitement, the HUGE success! Let me explain… During my brief time back in the UK a short time ago (Caring for my Nan with mixed dementia-strange time to be inspired I know!) I had a sudden and unexpected burst of creativity and so began work on my next novel (In all honesty I first began work on this particular piece well over a year ago but now the time is right to continue.) I’ve mentioned before that I had previously tried my hand -no pun intended- at the ‘Erotica’ genre whilst doing a writing course a few years ago: Believe it or not it is in fact a difficult genre to do well; that is, create a good story line, strong characters and something other than the obvious ‘carnal’ activity going on but I intend to give it a go and continue what I started. The current storm of controversy surrounding the success of ’50 shades of grey’ has shocked and surprised me quite honestly (do excuse my naivety all you ‘marketing experts’) I mean let’s face it-the genre is nothing new-but has the fantastic marketing behind this trilogy thrust it (‘Oh my!’) into the mainstream from what would have been part of a relatively underground genre: ‘Mummy porn’ I’ve heard it described as…eek! I mean what is that all about? A distasteful and condescending term if I ever heard one: Bored, dissatisfied housewives needing to fill their mundane existence with something thrilling and naughty? Or is it meant to be a defiant ‘fingers up’ at men and their mainstream ‘girlie’ mags-something for the ladies to openly read and not be, erm, ashamed of? Wait, I’m on a roll here; defiance in the face of a penis -Holy Crap!-obsessed male dominated world! At this point you are probably clearing your throat and about to politely point out that a story about S&M-bondage-a submissive female sex slave, blah blah blah is probably not the way to prove that level of defiance. Oh boy-talk about opening up a can of worms-this is going to throw open the doors to a massively complex debate which will bring us back to what is ultimately the oldest and most hotly debated topic the globe over-SEX - male/female relationships-respect-subordination…the list is endless: Or is it even worth discussing? Is ‘50 shades’ just a reasonably good story-spiced up to the limit-excellent marketing and a female audience ripe for a bit of raunchiness? When I began writing this article I was two thirds of the way through the book; last night I finished it and sat back with a sigh…okay, I’ve done it-now what? Do I read up on all the other millions of reviews over the World Wide Web or do I just draw my own conclusions and remain blissfully unaware as to what the rest of the world has to say? Does it even matter what anyone else has to say? Probably not: She has sold millions-there is a film in the making-she must be ecstatic-her publisher undoubtedly is-so what can I say? Literature is purely subjective-what is one man’s/woman’s treasure is another’s trash basically.The book has its moments, I couldn’t help wondering what was going to happen in the end-but was a trilogy really necessary for such a story? Probably not-just a few more sexual positions they hadn’t tried out in the first part (meow!) come on…a little cattiness is allowed ;) On a more serious note-the whole sex slave-female submissive concern: Ok, Miss Anastasia Steele kind of gets on ones nerves a little after a while, but in all fairness to the author she doesn’t come across as a completely pathetic individual for allowing herself to be whipped into submission by the stunningly beautiful and rich Mr Grey; some, ok very little, brain matter is present. He in turn comes from some fucked up beginnings, is damaged goods, which explains his inability to allow himself to be’ loved’ in a normal fashion and allow anyone to get too close both physically and emotionally. That’s it guys-that is as in depth as I’m prepared to go: love it, hate it-my feeling is one of ambivalence; I have more important things on my mind, like how to get a million people to read my novel! Nipple clamps anyone?


  1. Well, I answered your question just now in the Marquis de Campo. This book appeals to the 'not good enough' belief of women; that men are 'better than' women, subconscious beliefs that we ALL have, whether we know it or not. That is why this book is popular, and for no other reason at all.

    There was a book some years ago like this, The Story of O, I think...we've come a little bit away from total worthlessness, because the woman from this book didn't even warrant the value of having a name...but that was nearly 40 years ago, so we haven't really come far at all.

    Reading stuff like this is a way we women can indulge our need to be punished by our owners for 'not being good enough'. Just as porn is a way men can indulge their need to own/control women and be the winner by doing so.

    Only those that are utterly fast asleep would read such books. And they would not know what I meant by that either. And I wouldn't try and explain either...pearls and swine springs to mind.


    1. p.s. not a thing Holy about it, also, I got it wrong, the O story is well over 50 years old, so nothing's really changed at all apart from our ability to express our insanity and make lots of money by doing so...nothing at all has changed, even though, if we wanted, we could work down the mine!!! :D

  2. Never heard of 'the story of O' will check it out..and so yes-put that in your pipe and smoke it ladies! and gentlemen of course...I have to say I haven't read/heard one interview with the author of '50 shades' so I'd be pretty curious to know what she would make of all this...a debate! Yay!You should send her your book ;) P.s as for the 'holy' well I guess that's just an Americanism..just an unfortunate one when in the same sentence as 'crap' and 'penis'...or is it?! ;)

  3. Pearls b4 swine.

    I saw her on TV, she's a foolish, giggly woman with no sense, as you might expect.
    And she's not happy, not at all. If money is your benchmark for happiness, and you're prepared to say or do anything to amass it, well, that's pretty sad.

    Is it just me that find all this 'stuff', including your book, really disturbing, because I really do...just a bit of fun Zo? If only it was just a bit of fun and not a legacy... :(

  4. But really, the worse thing about these sort of books, including yours, is the low self esteem flying off the pages.

    Whatever we say and do, we are teaching, and these books teach everyone that all that is important about a woman is here body and how she looks, in a sexual sense only, i.e. if you don't have a good body, you're fucked, so get surgery maybe...

    It's very painful for me to be around this madness all the time and I think I have reached the end of my aguanto. It's toxic thinking and it actually makes me feel physically sick listening to all this these days. It used to just be a discomfort in my belly. But the more I understand where it comes from, the less I can indulge it or ignore it.

  5. Your book is on a whole different level-an entire journey-an INTERNAL journey-a message that is going to be hard to swallow for a huge amount of people. I admire what you are out to achieve and agree with a lot of what we have discussed, however you have to be careful to not preach or outwardly condemn-we all reach our conclusions in our own time. My book is not like 50 shades ( well, actually, I don't know-is hers semi-autobiographical?!) and despite the 'fun', the recreational drugs, the endless relationships there is always a lesson to be learnt-everything has its consequences-definitely in my story and to some extent in hers ( well at least in the first book-haven't read the others) I have strong feelings, beliefs, on many issue but I've learnt to approach things with a different attitude-which encompasses humor a lot of the time-as otherwise people just switch off and don't listen-no -one wants to be preached at. I learnt that on a personal level during my 'Spanish revolution' moment. I'm a passionate person (take that as you will!) by nature but have had to learn to 'tame' the angry beast within me which got me nowhere...no-one is saying all this is a bit of 'fun' and equally no one is saying go out and get whipped into submission...precisely why I approached this with humor as quite honestly us humans are laughable quite pathetic beings at times...

  6. You are as you are, and I accept you totally. I love you very much, in fact. But things that make me cringe continuously, I have to avoid, it's just more self-punishment, and I'm long out of that <3


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